“How Lord? How?”

[ Sunday Testimony Sharing ]

[Monica Chung]


Good morning Church.  My name is Monica Chung from Cell Group EI2.


When I was 13 years old, my mother brought me and my brother from Tawau to Kota Kinabalu.  I was registered to study in Stella Maris Convent School at Tanjung Aru.  Because I was a Buddhist, therefore I was given an option to choose either to learn Islamic or Christianity during the moral class.  I am glad that I chose Christianity because it was at this time Jesus was introduced to my life.   I really wanted to know Him more, hoping and wishing to be a Christian one day.


I accepted Jesus Christ as personal Lord and Savior when I was 26 years old.  You must be wondering why I took so long.  It was because there were many Buddhist statues in my house.  I am the only daughter in my family and 2 out of the 10 Commandments I was unable to fulfill.  They were:

1) You shall have no other gods before Me
2) Honor your father and your mother


All I knew was that I need to talk to God and tell Him my wish; not knowing that talking to God is praying.  I said “God, I want to be Your child but I can’t because You said to honor my mother.  I can’t disobey her because this will make You unhappy.  Lord, as long as the Buddhist Altar is at home, I will have to continue to help my mum to clean “San Toi – Buddhist Altar”.  I need to help her to perform prayers to those statues each time she instructed me because I’m the only daughter in the family.  Jesus, I would not be able to serve you as my One and Only true God.  How Lord, How?”


After 13 years of praying, one day out of the blue, my mum told us that she will be removing all the Buddhist statues from the house.  I was so happy and I knew God has answered my prayer according to His timing.  I thank God for my mother and her unconditional love toward me and my brother.


In 2004, I came to GCC.  I am thankful to God for this church has helped me to grow and know God better.  I am able to build relationship with Him and also draw closer to Him.  I may be a Christian for many years yet I was still a lost sheep, no understanding of being a true child of God.


There were a few dark, deep and heavy burdening obstacles in me. I can’t and unable to release them because they were too deep.  I knew these obstacles were slowing my progress in my journey with God.  I had always prayed and asked God to show and bring me out of this miserable darkness in me.


On one Sunday morning during the announcement of the Cell Overnight Prayer Meeting, both me and my husband were thinking, “Shall we participate?  How ah?  Go or not ah?”


After discussing with one another, we decided to participate and this will be our 1st overnight prayer meeting.  We really don’t know how and what to expect.  In our mind; “Let’s see how it goes and how long we can stay.  If we are too tired and sleepy, we can go off after certain session”.


There were five sessions in the Cell Overnight Prayer Meeting.  First session started, I felt a bit sleepy but told myself that I must at least stay for 2 sessions.  After the second session, my spirit was lifted and I was not sleepy any more.  During the prayer time in the third session, I felt something happening within me.  The dark obstacles within me surfaced.


I felt sadness in me and hated myself for it.  This feeling continued till the fourth session I cried many times in between those sessions and the sadness within me grew deeper.


During the final session, around 5am in the morning, I cried and cried with tears flowing like a running tap yet freedom and forgiveness were not within me.  I could hear others praying and surrounded by prayers.  I felt the Holy Spirit moving strongly in me and all I knew was to cry and pray, cry and pray.  The burden was still within me instead of release and forgiveness


Right at that moment, it was my first encounter with God; I heard God’s voice saying “Monica Chung! You are so stubborn”.  Immediately I fell on my knees and my crying became so great; like strong water pressure about to burst anytime.  I felt the Holy Spirit began to pull out deep rooted grass within me; totally uprooting deep roots from my soul.  Still crying but this time it was cries of joy and the feeling of freedom for the first time in my life.


Right there and then I knew it was done and finished.  I have forgiven myself because God has first forgiven me.  From that morning onward till today, the past obstacle never surfaced again in my life.  I now felt the fullness of love and joy in me.


Dear Brothers and sisters, I thank God for the Cell Overnight Prayer Meeting.  God has prepared for me to have such a beautiful encounter with Him to be healed of my own hatred.  May His name be glorified forever and ever, Amen!